On-line Dating…

I’ve been in the on-line dating scene for almost 2 years. I was strongly against it for the longest time but thought, hey what do I have to lose. I’m not having any luck the old-fashioned way so lets try this. Here’s what I’ve found:

Only guys on there are guys who

1.) just want sex. The occasional hit it and quite it. They try to reel you in with their profile picture being a dick pic or opener being a dick pic. The pick up lines like “You look like my ex dominatrix. Please be my next.” Or “I can see me between your legs.” Like no. Guys do you really think this works? Maybe it does for you I don’t know, but I would never reply back to something like that especially not knowing you. You come off as scummy and gross.Then when I don’t answer back you get all defensive and then attack me. “oh really, did I just get ignored by an overweight 30-year-old that has no options?” Nice one guy, your really going to get what you want acting like a 5-year-old who doesn’t get what he wants. Why don’t you get wasted at a bar, find a chick equally or more wasted than you and bring her home. You’ll get better results that way. Your ego is straight killing your chances my friend.

2.) just plain weird guys. They are just straight up weird. You start talking to them and then realize “Shit, it’s another strange one.” Now there are different kinds of strange.

a.) The guy who within 2 minutes of talking to you is already planning your future together. He’s mentioned marriage, babies, house, vacations all within his 3-4th response back to you. Yes, girls like guys that want the same stuff as them but Woah, slow your roll dude. you haven’t even been talking to me for 5 minutes. Don’t know me in person yet and strictly going off of my profile and pictures. Which leads me to the next guy…

b.) The guy that puts up all old picture of him from 5 years ago of him skinny or ripped. Lies about stuff in his profile. While you’re talking to him he seems normal and pictures look good so you’re like great, maybe this could work. He’s just as equally excited to meet you. You meet up and he’s 40-50lbs bigger than any of the pics and not even showered. Now don’t get me wrong nothing is wrong with a heavier guy, I by no means have any right to judge someone on their weight because I hate when people do that to me. My problem is you have old pictures up and you are portraying yourself as someone that your not anymore. Also take care of yourself… if you know you are going on a date shower and don’t wear sweat pants and a sweatshirt.

c.) Socially awkward guys. Via text, website,fb whatever he talks normally to you and everything seems ok. The second he meets you in person he is spending most of the date in the bathroom. He’s nervous and has a nervous tummy. Thats fine if you get nervous, I get that I get nervous too. I just don’t like basically sitting at a table the whole date alone. Then says he’d like to try again… so you go on another date and it’s a repeat offender. I don’t get what is making you so nervous, I am a normal person that is probably just as nervous as you. CALM DOWN.

d.) and last but not least, the nerdy/creepy guys. They start off with “If i could send you anywhere in the world where would you go.” Well why are you asking me this unless you are really going to do it and do I have to bring you? I’d rather bring my best friend. Oh also the “I’m a movie producer in New York and you’d fit the roll of my leading actress perfectly! What do you say?” ok so I’m assuming your movie is a porn and  you’re just creepy. There’s also the guys that you can just tell aren’t desirable. I may sound like a bitch saying this but they just aren’t attractive and have the socially awkward nerdy thing on top of it. You feel bad so you talk a little bit but then they say something weird or creepy and you just stop and say ok no, thats why you’re on this website.

Maybe I’m too picky or maybe I’m too close minded but I’d just like a normal guy. Start off with maybe a clever but not creepy opener that would catch my attention. Talk for a bit, then try a date but not try sex right off the bat. I guess I’m old-fashioned, get to know someone then see how it plays out. On-line dating is very entertaining that’s for sure but I don’t think I’ll find my future husband on it.

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